the ragged rim of oblivion.

i was in a cubicle all day and it was a little bit better because i got to venture out every once in a while to pretend i was helping pull film clips. and then i called 400 places to beg for employment. and then i wrote down what i probably won't tell you and scratched a love poem in my little notebook. and then i sat on the train and looked at strangers and thought about what makes me miserable and then the indian man at the health food store i asked for a job from held my hand for too long and the pimply kid behind the counter at the video store didn't know if they were hiring and then i saw a dead bird on the sidewalk and then i came home to my blind dog bumping into EVERYTHING. none of those things helped. and now i have to figure out what to eat for dinner.

maybe i should just write a memoir where i complain for 300 pages about the suburban doldrums. or the urban neurosis.

maybe i should just not take amphetamines anymore.

maybe i should just leave the country for 5 months in 3 months? the continent even? europe??? yep. that's being done.

maybe i should just be content because in time very due there will be cobblestones under my feet and a camera in front of my face and everything will start happening.



there is modern romance only in other countries. there. it's simple. see it?

Animal Collective - My Girls from Rob Chesnutt on Vimeo.

Matt & Kim "Lessons Learned" from POPFRENZY HQ on Vimeo.

dentrimentally sentimental

there is nothing left in this room but the apocalypse. where there once was abundant thriving life, there is now an empty dresser, a bare mattress and walls that look as though they have suffered through the fourth world war. this sucks i could cry.



no sleep. off to kathy's diner. on to plane. off to home. think about that one. HOME. thank god for amphetamines and jazz.

parting is such sweet sorrow

film scripts and film strips and test strips and darkroom chemicals and kurt vonnegut and rice cakes and cat litter and kittens and owls and late night art projects and red bull and fake bacon and kanye west and cigarettes and amphetamines and small children and tantrums and babies and diapers and time magazine and snow hikes and borrowed clothing and flannel and index cards and art talks and existing and airport lounge sunrises and bubblegum and avant-garde film screenings and farm mornings and smith buses and san fransisco and division II and prague and tea and reich and lykke and walking on a dream and dirty kitchens and skinny mirrors and paychecks and caffeine and stinky cigarette compost and rabid skunks and those days and those nights and UGH! THIS LIFE!

hampshire college, it's time for a break.
hampshire, i'll still call i promise.
hampshire, i'll always love you.
hampshire, you're the only one for me.
hampshire, i just need a change.
hampshire college, i'll come crawling back, don't worry.

you're my favorite moment. you're my sad day. cuz you're my number 1.