letha(l)rgic

Imagine an eye unruled by man-made laws of perspective, an eye unprejudiced by compositional logic, and eye which does not respond to the name of everything but which must know each object encountered in life through an adventure of perception. How many colors are there in a field of grass to the crawling baby unaware of 'Green'? How many rainbows can light create for the untutored eye? How aware of variations in heat waves can that eye be? Imagine a world alive with incomprehensible objects and shimmering with an endless variety of movement and innumerable gradations of color. Imagine a world before the 'beginning was the word.'

-sb

depricat(er)ing

i really don't know what it means to work anymore. to DO work, that is. the beginning of the year was so crazy hectic and stressful, but only because i had a ton of places i needed to be. not because of any amount of work i had to do. and now it's finals. and i have to write a paper. and i don't remember how. and it's a little freaky. i have absolutely no idea what to do. even thinking about it makes me nervous and anxious because i feel i don't have anything of value to say, and i'll end up bullshitting everything because that's all this year has been. i've smoked way too much pot and have created absolutely nothing of value this semester. i haven't been motivated to throw myself into my work like i expected i would, because now i'm finally doing exactly what i've been wanting to do and i'm letting it completely pass me by. which is depressing. because i absolutely cannot seem to get myself out of this lazy mentality. i have zero self control. and zero self discipline. that combination is. a. disaster.

thanksgiving was nice.

this is all i have to say...

FUCK YEAH AMERICA

happy november

halloween was great. i was a lightnin bug.

more importantly.
RIP studs terkel.
RIP harriet prentiss.
RIP barack's grandma.
RIP syd's grandpa.
RIP humanity?

what is going on.

"update this shit"

ok. ok fine.

happenings:
-i'm getting into vegetables and creative, HEALTHY meals. i'm really going to try and keep it up. carbs will be playing a minimal role in my life. (just kidding maybe)
-i'm writing my screenplay about that one (plural) thing that happened that one time. it's not as easy as i thought it would be. whoops.
-making crazies with div II shit. trying to get the best of the rest on my committee.
we'll see what happens. good thing it's ALL due on friday. good thing my life is due on friday. which brings me too...
-THEE hampshire halloween. i want to be an artichoke. i'm going to be an artichoke (on drugs).
-DJANGO (reinhardt) THE KITTEN.


django facts:
-he is going to be a panther.
-he will beat up your cat.
-he is regal.
-i am his mother.
-we are deeply in love.
-he is completely bonkers insane.
-i think that is why we are deeply in love.
-he likes to sit like a "little man":

-we are now a full family:

-i mean, we're in love:


-he is currently purring on my lap.



i am content.

the woods the woods

i don't really know what i'm supposed to write in this anymore.

i'm so busy. as a bee, they say. but i'm making more than honey. nothing quite as SWEET though. except for the moneys.

loopy loopy been running since 6:30 this morning. i guess i'd like to keep it that way. but, maybe not.

the walk to the farm at sunrise is so beautiful sometimes i think i can reach out and grab the sun and shake it and say "YOU'RE NOT REAL BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL!". but i don't. because i would burn my hands. so i just accept it, instead.

and the children's center is therapeutic. they win the cute contests.

the barnyard animals and the pre-schoolers are keeping me sane.

birth daze

i turned 20 yesterday.
and had a panic attack.
at the same time.


happy birthday dad.