the woods the woods

i don't really know what i'm supposed to write in this anymore.

i'm so busy. as a bee, they say. but i'm making more than honey. nothing quite as SWEET though. except for the moneys.

loopy loopy been running since 6:30 this morning. i guess i'd like to keep it that way. but, maybe not.

the walk to the farm at sunrise is so beautiful sometimes i think i can reach out and grab the sun and shake it and say "YOU'RE NOT REAL BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL!". but i don't. because i would burn my hands. so i just accept it, instead.

and the children's center is therapeutic. they win the cute contests.

the barnyard animals and the pre-schoolers are keeping me sane.

birth daze

i turned 20 yesterday.
and had a panic attack.
at the same time.


happy birthday dad.

inner workings

bad decisions are still decisions. so at least i made one! haha.

i'm thinking my next tattoo will be a maple leaf. because it represents hooome and rooots and bridging my two resident locations. yeah?

it's raining. thanks to hanna and gustav. that's kind of cool, that we're affected by it, right? helloooo mother nature. you are present today.

i'm going to stage manage a show with masks.


maybe i'll borrow one to wear.

oh good morning, sun!

so here i am. at college. it's a heavy life. a utopian society at times. dysfunctional. but fun! always the fun. modlife is wonderful. i love having a whole place, instead of just a room. but still a room.

"the one spirit's plastic stress
which sweeps through the dull,
dense world"

is stamped onto the front of the shelf on my desk. i decided to keep it. just in case i wanted to remember how depressed hampshire students get.

my ankles hurt. boots kill. but live.

i'm working at the farm now, eternal cow odor upon my existence. i don't mind, i hope i don't get immune to it though so i'm not aware it's there. anyway. i'm a cow milkin, calf, pig and turkey feedin girl. livin the life. it was enjoyable being up with the sun.

weird ups and downs. trying to keep last year out of my head as much as possible. adapting is weird, but so natural right? i guess everyone does it. we are not unique. but only when together. apart, we are snowflakessssss.